Mister Four Eyes

In May 2009, my blackberry buzzed with the following text message during a normal working day at lunch-time: “POTUS having lunch across the street”-sent by my friend, who runs his web development shop from his condo in our building.

“POTUS?,” I muttered to myself. “Wait, the PRESIDENT?” I replied to no one in particular, dumbfounded. A series of texts with the following topic began blowing up my bb from neighbors and friends. 

In a matter of 45 minutes, the President of These United States put a then-only-locally known burger joint, known as “HellBurger”..on the map of for every foodie in all 50 states. It even made the CNN headlines (must have been a rather slow news day).

I’ve traveled the country and must say, I dare challenge anyone to step forth with a better burger. I don’t believe it’s out there. From NYC, to South Beach, to L.A. to Seattle, I have yet to taste a burger so robust you’re left speechless afterward. Once inside, you’ll notice 2 large maps. One of the maps is of the U.S., and the other of Europe and Asia. A small sign beside them asks customers who have traveled to ask the cashier for a color coded “pin” to insert into their homeland.

The entire map is covered.

Michael Landrum, the owner, began his mini-empire with a small steak house (where Hellburger is now located) named, “Ray’s The Steaks.” Again, best steak-particularly the Cowboy cut, I’ve ever had.

Landrum’s an interesting character. The nicest guy you’ll meet. My Dad’s a restaurateur with a restaurant down the street in Georgetown (my aunt now owns it), and I appreciate the constant pressure restaurateur’s face. You’re only as great as your last dish (I could tell you a few stories of hilarity about critics “secretly” dining). Landrum will take the time to speak to any diner, educate them, laugh with them, and make your experience feel not in a restaurant, but his home. Disheveled, and now with a somewhat-bulging belly from his earlier svelte restaurant days, he’s like a mad-man bent on doing what he does best-making a damn good steak and burger.

Landrum ages his own steaks and meat. He also believes in a fair deal for his customers. At his steakhouse, you’ll only pay for the meat; the sides of never ending garlic mashed potatoes and creamed spinach in overflowing bowls are free.

Yes, free.

No, no strings attached. Your server will continuously bring out as much of the rich goodiness as your stomach desires.

If you’re in the DC area, swing by. But be prepared for the wait. The first photo in my strip shows a common-line for folks waiting for a burger from our view inside our building.

*apologize for the graininess of the photos, all are taken from my bb phone, except for the Obama photo, credit to the Huffington Post

*please note HellBurger has no signage. Yup, no sign to let you know you’ve arrived. Just look for the line wrapping around the corner.

*i typically order the B.I.G. POPPA burger pictured in my photos (they all have funny names). it’s an Au Poivre Burger With Black Peppercorn Crust, Aged Danish Bleu Cheese, Cognac & Sherry Sauteed Mushrooms, Grilled Red Onions..Hellburger offers customers free toppings, for example, sauteed mushrooms, roasted garlic, ects. the sides on my plate are: seven cheese mac ‘n cheese, regular and sweet potato fries. i plated the items myself, they come in separate containers and holders